So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You are the jesus of drinking
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
