i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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