She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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