But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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