Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
pray to the hookup gods
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