come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
