We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize