do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
