actually, I'm a sock model
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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