hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
