okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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