her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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