Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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