I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
