YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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