holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Randomize
