i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
