I want to make a zoo with you.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
