apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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