somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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