I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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