I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
