Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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