So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
