Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
