Me too!
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
