Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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