How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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