i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
