Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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