It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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