tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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