i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
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