i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
