there's paper in my vomit.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
