Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
