Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
