no, he came in my armpit
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
