so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
