you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
