why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
