it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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