I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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