Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
