At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Randomize
