I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
