i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
