I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
