So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
