You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
