Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
the day after is always just damage control
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
