You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
