We're facebook friends in real life
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
