I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
