you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Actions speak louder than pants.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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