so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
