i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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