I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
