So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He did a backflip because drugs
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