Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize